Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize