His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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