Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
