I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize