I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
