Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
