I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
