ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
