I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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