I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
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I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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