farters have to be the big spoon...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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