apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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