woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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