I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
