I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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