I just pynch a tree in the face
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
