i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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