Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
