My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
