Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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