But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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