i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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