so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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