so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
