I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The beer is more important than you right now.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
