So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My pussy is not your playground.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
