why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
