You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My friends, they love my intelligence
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
