drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
