2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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