Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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