mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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