Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
