I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
