What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
