Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
