It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
