Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
