When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
