This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
