"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
