College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
