He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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