First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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