Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
