fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just want nice things and good sex
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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