3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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