halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I deserve this hangover.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize