I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that's an acceptable place to lick
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
