jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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