my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
