More tranny stories later!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
