hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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