Pappa wants mamma naked
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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