I'm gonna have a badass scar
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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