I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
