y did u give ur computer a hand job?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i've created a new STD.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
