I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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