So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize