Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
