Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
