brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
