I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
