I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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