sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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